porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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