I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
