I must be too annoying 4 u.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
