i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im holly from the hills drunk
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
