Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
