Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
