we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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