i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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