addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
