it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
