there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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