I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Randomize
