I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
