whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
