She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You are the jesus of drinking
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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