He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
don't judge my taste in strippers
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
