Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
