Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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