ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
you will always have a special place in my vag
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
