I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
