And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
