Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
so let's talk penis.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
