Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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