I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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