don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
