can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
