she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
