Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
