Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she peed on how many people?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
