Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
