im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Another day, another engagement, another cat
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
