He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
