I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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