i would punch a child for taco bell
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
