Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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