lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
