I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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