i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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