Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
