Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think I am morally bankrupt
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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