Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
did you just send me my own nude
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
