u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
