Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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