I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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