Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
