I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
