I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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