I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
