why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
