do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
