It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
