he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
